14. Authentic Storytelling and the Power of Being Seen

What if the story holding you back is also the one that is meant to set you free?

In this episode of The Favourite Self Podcast, Carly dives into authentic storytelling, visibility, and why the stories we tell ourselves eventually become the stories we tell the world. She unpacks how the beliefs sitting beneath the surface, about not being enough, being too much, or needing more experience before being seen, can quietly shape the way we show up in business, branding, and content.

Carly also breaks down what makes a signature story powerful, why transformation matters more than the event itself, and how to tell stories that actually connect. From understanding your brand as a mirror to learning the difference between sharing your wounds and sharing your wisdom, this episode is a reminder that people do not connect with perfection. They connect with truth, transformation, and the version of you that is willing to let them in.

If this episode resonates, be sure to follow and subscribe to The Favourite Self Podcast, and share it with someone who needs this reminder.

Key Takeaways:

• The stories you tell yourself shape the way you show up in your brand, your business, and your visibility

• Your signature story is not just a dramatic event. It is the transformation you have moved through

• People connect more deeply with transformation than perfection

• Vulnerability in storytelling is not about sharing everything. It is about sharing the wisdom that came from what you lived through

• The most powerful stories follow a clear arc: situation, struggle, shift, and solution

• Your audience does not need a guru who has it all figured out. They need a guide they can see themselves in

• The stories that stick are the ones that act like mirrors and help people feel seen in their own experience

The Favourite Self Retreat: https://www.carlyottaway.com/the-favourite-self-retreat

Carly's Links
Website: carlyottaway.com / webofwords.ca
Instagram: @‌itscarlyottaway / @‌webofwords_
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlyottaway

Favourite Self Retreat: https://www.carlyottaway.com/the-favourite-self-retreat

Coming Home: https://www.amazon.ca/Coming-Home-Path-Favourite-Permission/dp/1069218308

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@favouriteselfpodcast

Transcript

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If you believe that you are not enough, you hide. If you believe that you are too much, you shrink, you downplay, you dilute your message. If you believe nobody cares about what you have to say, then you stop sharing your thoughts, your perspective, your ideas, your experiences. And if you believe that you need more credentials, more experience, you wait. You wait, you procrastinate, you hold off, and you do your community a disservice. Welcome to the Favorite Self podcast. I like to think of it not as your future self or your best self, but your favorite self. My favorite self that just makes me feel the truest version of me. What lights your favorite self on fire? I'm Carly Hadaway, founder, author, storyteller, and a woman who learned that building a successful life means nothing if it doesn't feel like yours. This podcast is for women who are building businesses, raising families, leading movements, and asking themselves, is this it or is there more available to me? This is your invitation to come back to yourself. Let's dig in. Welcome back to another episode of the Favorite Self Podcast. I'm really excited to be solo again today, coming at you with a really exciting topic around authentic storytelling and how to tell stories that stick. Because one thing that I've seen again and again, both with the clients that we work with at Web of Words, our marketing agency, and also with the people that I meet walking into rooms, speaking on stages, leading workshops, and facilitating other mastermind sessions, is that the thing that's often standing between you and that next level of growth that you are calling in, often actually isn't a lack of strategy. It's not a lack of experience. It's not even a lack of confidence. What if it's actually a story? A story that you keep telling yourself about why you're not there yet, about how someone else is more qualified or more experienced or better than you are, about how your story isn't big enough. It's not important enough. It's not going to matter. Who is going to actually care what you have to say? I've had all of these thoughts throughout my over a decade-long experience working in entrepreneurship, and even longer than that, working within the social media space. And it's this feeling of feeling like you have to have everything figured out before you can share it, before you can lead it, before you can guide others through it. So today I really want to talk about authentic storytelling, about visibility, and really why the stories that we tell ourselves eventually become the stories we tell the world. So before we get into it, I just want you to ask yourself, what story am I currently telling myself about why I'm not where I'm meant to be? And I actually share my own story in this in the last solo episode about why growth doesn't always look the way that you think it should. So go back and check that out if you need a little inspiration. So one thing you've heard me talk about also on this podcast is how your brand is a mirror. Most people think that branding is about the colors and the logos and the aesthetic and the content and the messaging, but I believe our brands are mirrors and they reflect back what we believe about ourselves ultimately and on a subconscious level. So it's not even necessarily a belief that you are aware of or currently feel is true. It could be something hiding beneath the surface. And this is why that inner work is so important because if you believe that you are not enough, you hide. If you believe that you are too much, you shrink, you downplay, you dilute your message. If you believe nobody cares about what you have to say, then you stop sharing your thoughts, your perspective, your ideas, your experiences. And if you believe that you need more credentials, more experience, you wait. You wait, you procrastinate, you hold off, and you do your community a disservice because there are people right now that need what you have to offer from you because of the experiences that you've had, the teachings that you teach, and the guidance that you are able to offer them. It's so important to recognize when our internal stories are showing up externally in the actions that we're taking, in the way that we're leading our businesses, in the way that we are showing up and stepping into visibility, in the strategies that we're executing and implementing. So again, take that minute to ask yourself here what belief about yourself might be showing up in your business right now? And then I want to get into talking about your signature story here, because this is one of the most important pieces that we always dive into with our clients when it comes to developing their messaging, their social strategy. And it starts with the transformation. So really understanding your signature story is not necessarily tied to a super dramatic event. Okay. It's not necessarily a house fire, it's not necessarily a divorce, but there is a pivotal moment for you. There's some moment where something really shifted. And it could be a career change, it could be a cancer diagnosis. But just keep in mind that signature stories aren't events, they are transformations. So my signature story isn't writing a book, it's not building a business, it's not losing my home in a fire. My signature story is going from hiding to being seen. And for years, I remember just stressing out about what people would think. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be liked, and I wanted to be seen a certain way in what I was doing. And I became really good at being who I thought I needed to be. And actually hiding behind these other personas around being more of the marketing strategist was a big one. Rather than really actually tapping into my superpower as an intuitive storyteller and ultimately a channel in the way that I work with clients to pull out their own signature stories and key messaging. And over time, through entrepreneurship, through motherhood, through writing and speaking, I learned to trust myself. And I put in the reps and I built the muscle and I realized that the life that I wanted actually was only going to be available to me when I decided to stop hiding. And so today my work is helping others be seen through their stories, their brands, and their voices. But the reality is that the events change, but the transformation stays the same. So if your life was a transformation story, think about it this way: what would be the before and what would be the after? And here are some different examples of this. Maybe it's going from being invisible to being seen, from burnt out to balanced, from self-doubt to self-trust, from the cage of perfection to feeling free, from scarcity to abundance, from playing small to taking up space on stage, from feeling lost to finding alignment. Your signature story often lives in that transformation. So the key first is to get really clear on the transformation for you. And this is work that we help our clients with all the time through the agency and through different events and workshops that we offer as well. All right, and we're gonna come back to some other ways that you can dive deeper into your signature story. I'm actually gonna have some questions for you so that you can use this episode to pause and journal and reflect back and we'll actually workshop it a little bit together. But before we go there, I really want to talk about why some stories stick. And the reason that storytelling matters so much in business isn't actually because stories sell, even though we hear that all the time. It's because stories help people feel seen. They help people feel a sense of belonging, they feel connected with others. We've been telling stories literally for centuries in order to have these feelings, have this feeling of belonging and of community. And I think it's so important in this to remember that people don't actually connect with perfection. They connect with the transformation. And this is where you need to be careful because a lot of business owners actually slip into putting themselves on a pedestal because they are so used to sharing this polished version of themselves, the healed, completely healed version of themselves that's on the other side of the transformation. But if you are not able to share the glimpses of the cracks and the flaws along the way, nobody relates to that. People do not relate to the perfectly done-up mom who doesn't ever miss a beat, picks up her kids from school looking absolutely fabulous every time, has all their meals prepped, they eat their entire lunch, all their snacks are cut out into perfect little shapes. It's not relatable to the majority of us. Even if there is some truth to that for you, I'm sure there are other pieces going on behind the scenes. Where's the character development? Remember to let us in on that. Because the stories that really resonate aren't the ones that just make you look impressive. They're the ones where people actually recognize themselves. They see a reflection of themselves because your story is a mirror. So I have this formula I want to share around writing stories that stick. And it really comes down to these four S's. So the first one is the situation. This is one of my favorite writing hacks ultimately, is like always remembering that you are setting the scene. So what happened? What's the situation? How can you paint the picture? Then there's the struggle. That's the second S. What were you feeling? This is where it's so important to tap into the emotions. What were you believing? What were you navigating? The third S is the shift. What changed for you? And then the final S is the solution. So how do you now support others through a similar situation to get similar results? And so I'll share some examples to put this into action for you. You want to start with that version of you that people relate to. So instead of I published a book, I'm looking to start with there was a time when I didn't think that I had a story worth sharing. Instead of, oh, I built a successful agency, I'm actually starting with, I spent years trying to prove myself. Remember that the entry point is the struggle, not the achievement. And I'll share this in a more concrete way. So applying my own signature transformation story from hiding to being seen to the stories at Stick Framework. Okay, so the first one is the situation. So for me, that is how for years I hid behind other people's stories. As a freelance writer, I was writing for national publications, interviewing other amazing public figures and CIOs and CEOs about their powerful stories and success stories. As a marketer, I was helping other businesses clarify their message and tap into the power of their stories and share it with the world. I became really good at helping others be seen, but I wasn't fully allowing myself to be seen. I'm interrupting this episode real quick to tell you about something super special coming this fall. I am so excited to officially introduce the favorite self retreat of one day in-person experience, unlike anything we've ever created before. Together, we're going to uncover and rewrite the old stories keeping you stuck, reconnect with the gifts and parts of yourself that you may have lost along the way, and help you step into what's next, feeling clearer, more grounded, and safe to be fully seen. If you've been loving the conversations on this podcast around identity, visibility, becoming and reconnecting with your favorite self, you are going to love this experience. You can join the wait list now through the link in the show notes to be the first to receive the date, location, full details, and early access to tickets. Okay, back to the episode. And then there's the struggle. Who was I to start an agency? Who was I to show up on social media? What would people think? And while I was helping others step into the spotlight, I stayed safely behind the scenes, behind the keyboard, behind the camera. Then there's the shift, and this is where everything really starts to change, remember. So for me, that was when I became a mom, because suddenly I did not have the energy to care so much about what other people thought of me. If I was showing up in my business, I knew that I had a limited time window and I had to focus on what was going to move the needle the most. And when it came to showing up online, I didn't have any energy to pretend that I had it all figured out. It was way more exhausting for me to show up in this way that really ultimately was rooted in more performative than being real and raw. And so that changed so much for me. And then there was the house fire, which ultimately sent me on this massive healing journey and really actually lit the fire under me to write my book and share my own story in a way that I never had before and tap into my roots really in creative storytelling and writing from a place of sharing my story so that I could help others feel seen through my own experiences rather than trying to write the strategic hook or trying to get more clicks or, you know, optimizing for search or anything like that. It was really tapping back into my own creative magic. And then there's a solution. And now today, while I still help other businesses share their stories through the work we do in the marketing agency, my work has also evolved. And I'm now speaking, I'm hosting a podcast, I'm leading these experiences that are helping other people uncover the stories that they are carrying on a subconscious level, the stories around how they're showing up and what they believe is possible and how visible they ultimately allow themselves to be. Because when we learn to own our story, we stop performing the result and truly start embodying it. And that's where real connection and authenticity and transformation are rooted. That's where the magic unfolds. And that's why I love this work so much. Okay, so I want to bring it back to what I promised I would offer you here is some questions that you can use to uncover your own signature story. So this is where you can pause, get your journal out, come back to this episode. And these questions really are around brainstorming. What transformations have you experienced that your audience is still searching for or still navigating? List those out. What did you struggle with before you became the person, the business owner, the thought leader that you are today? What belief kept you stuck? What was something that wasn't true but felt so true to you in that moment? And what life event or experience or realization changed your perspective? Not just what happened, but what changed because of what happened? And then you can look through feedback that you've gotten. What do people thank you for helping them with when you were younger? What did people always come to you for? Where were they looking for support from you specifically? And what do you help people move from and move toward? And this is where you really start to pull out that transformation story. So again, going from hiding to being seen, going from burnt out to balance, going from confusion to clarity, self-doubt to self-trust, bonus if there's a little alliteration in there, because that sticks. It's also a powerful way of helping people remember and simplifying it, right? We want to keep it simple. So then you can write out my signature story is the journey from X to Y. And I would be doing you a disservice if we didn't dive into talking about vulnerability here, because one of the biggest misconceptions about storytelling is that vulnerability means sharing everything. And the truth is that vulnerability isn't sharing your wounds, it's sharing your wisdom. It's sharing from the truth and not the trauma. So the goal isn't, oh, look what happened to me. The goal is here's what this experience taught me. And that's how you can also bring it back into your business and your offers and your services or your products. So in my book, I share so many different stories. And these are micro stories throughout the book. But if we break them down, the chapter on the divorce, the divorce wasn't the story. It was the lesson about safety and belonging. The fire wasn't a story. It was what rebuilding taught me about my own worthiness. And the book isn't even the story. It's actually who writing it required me to become in the process and becoming the author that was sharing it. And this leads me to the final piece I wanted to talk about. And that is letting people watch you in your becoming, which I know can feel so deeply uncomfortable. But the biggest mistake that I see people make is actually waiting until they figured everything out before they start sharing. They're waiting until they're at the top of the mountain before they actually share their journey getting there. And they keep telling themselves, oh, once I'm confident enough, once I'm successful at this, once I have these results, then I'll show up. But as we know, confidence is built through action, through visibility ultimately, through putting in the reps and building the muscle. And often the version of you that you are waiting to become is built through the very thing that you are avoiding. So remember that your audience doesn't need a guru. They actually need a guide, someone who's five to 10 steps ahead of them, who they can relate to, who still sees themselves in their own experience rather than someone who's 20 years or a hundred steps ahead that doesn't actually even remember what it was like to be where they are, or maybe never even was where they are. And a great example of this is the story of Jesse Jean, the woman behind the Yap Challenge. If you have not been hiding under a rock on social media, you have seen her powerful story, how she went really from starting an account from scratch to having a $1.2 million launch in six months. Keeping in mind that I always want to say, like, this is more than just an overnight success story. She was a business owner. She had experience growing on Instagram before this launch, but she was so aligned in her authenticity in this moment and showing up in her truth. And this launch and this success has only actually skyrocketed that. And she's now sharing also how she's navigating this massive win on the other side and how she's regulating her nervous system and how she's holding space to be able to actually receive this and hold it as well. So so powerful to follow along with her journey. And she's continuing to take us along as she goes. So remember that you are not teaching something because you have arrived. You are teaching it because you are still living the lesson. We are a constant work in progress. And often our medicine that we have most needed to heal, to learn, to step into our favorite selves is the medicine that we offer through our products and services, the way that we guide others through that experience, because we once needed the exact same transformation solution. All right, one final point to wrap up with. So every story should actually answer what's in this for me from your audience. Why does this matter to the person who is listening, who is reading, who is watching, who is hiring you? And instead of wrapping it up with, here's what happened to me, you want to walk them through reflecting on where might this be showing up in your own life and business. And you can use this formula for your signature story that you are building with any talks that you're offering, sales pages that you are writing, and also single posts and reels that you are sharing as well. It really applies to all of them. It can be a macro signature story or it can be micro. And I highly recommend also really owning it and applying it to all your messaging, putting it in your Instagram bio, making sure it's super clear on your website and in your work and really understanding what that macro anchor signature story is. And then you can have all these other micro stories that build from there. And really, that's a podcast for another day that's building out your content strategy, both long form and short form, and how it all ties together. I hope this was helpful. I would love to hear from you if it was. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you again next week. Thank you for listening to the Favorite Self podcast. If this episode stirred something in you, there's a reason for it. You could take a moment to share with a friend, someone who's also building something brave, that would mean so much to me. Better yet, leave a review. It helps this message reach even more women who are ready to lead differently. And before you go, remember this your favorite self is already within you, waiting to be heard. See you next time.