How to Expand Your Capacity for More Money, Visibility, and Growth

What if the real reason you have hit a ceiling in business has nothing to do with strategy and everything to do with what your nervous system feels safe holding?

In this episode of The Favourite Self Podcast, Carly sits down with High Performance Business and Leadership Coach Sarah Lambert for a powerful conversation about business growth, identity, nervous system capacity, personal brand, and motherhood. Sarah has helped hundreds of women scale their online businesses in a way that feels aligned, sustainable, and deeply supportive, blending high level strategy and brand building with subconscious identity work and nervous system informed leadership.

Together, Carly and Sarah reflect on a decade of entrepreneurship, the inner shifts that often come before the external results, and what it really means to expand your capacity for more money, more visibility, and more of the life you want to hold. Sarah shares how her own growth required her to move beyond hard work and hustle, and into a new level of self trust, embodiment, and leadership.

If this episode resonates, be sure to follow and subscribe to The Favourite Self Podcast, and share it with someone who needs this conversation too.

Sarah's Bio

Sarah Lambert is a High Performance Business and Leadership Coach for Entrepreneurs and a Mom of 2. Her work has helped hundreds of women scale their online businesses in an aligned and easeful way using Nervous System Informed Strategy and Leadership. She combines high level strategy and brand building with subconscious identity and nervous system work in a way that allows people to create unmatched results while feeling their best. 

Key Takeaways:

• Business growth is not just about strategy. It also depends on what your nervous system feels safe holding

• The next level of money, visibility, and success requires an identity shift, not just more hard work

• Real capacity is built by staying with discomfort instead of rushing to fix, avoid, or control it

• A strong personal brand gives you space to evolve, pivot, and grow while bringing your audience with you

• Sustainable success comes from alignment, self trust, and leadership that supports the life you actually want

Sarah's Links

Instagram: www.instagram.com/thesarahlambert 

Upcoming Event: https://herlegacycollective.co/her-legacy-live-2026/ 

Freebie: https://learn.therosewoodagency.com/offers/8JY8MXv9?coupon_code=CARLY 

Carly's Links
Website: carlyottaway.com / webofwords.ca
Instagram: @‌itscarlyottaway / @‌webofwords_
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlyottaway
Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@favouriteselfpodcast

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

It is safe to hold this much money. And the same can go for love, for joy, for visibility. It is safe to hold this amount of visibility. It is safe to hold this amount of judgment of being misunderstood. All of it is dysregulating when we start to push edges, both the upper edges and the lower edges.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to the favorite self podcast. I like to think of it not as your future self or your best self, but your favorite self. My favorite self that just makes me feel the truest version of me. What lights your favorite self on fire? I'm Carly Ottaway, founder, author, storyteller, and a woman who learned that building a successful life means nothing if it doesn't feel like yours. This podcast is for women who are building businesses, raising families, leading movements, and asking themselves, is this it or is there more available to me? This is your invitation to come back to yourself. Let's dig in. You know that feeling that you get when you just feel like you are stuck or you've hit a certain ceiling in your business growth and you know that something needs to change in order to get to that next level. And often our first thought is to bring in a better strategy or a different strategy or to post more or to do more when maybe what's really going on is a shift within and you need to turn inwards and actually regulate your nervous system so that you can hold more and have the capacity to hold more growth in your business and in your personal life, in your motherhood journey, in your marriage, in your relationships, whatever that looks like. If this is something that you've been experiencing, you are going to love today's episode with the one and only Sarah Lambert. Sarah is a high-performance business and leadership coach for entrepreneurs and a mom of two. Her work has helped hundreds of women scale their online businesses in an aligned and easeful way using nervous system informed strategy and leadership. She combines high-level strategy and brand building with subconscious identity and nervous system work in a way that allows people to create unmatched results while also feeling their best. I can't wait for you to learn from her. She is absolutely incredible. Enjoy. Hello and welcome. I have such a special guest for you here today, the brilliant Sarah Lambert, who is someone that I feel like I have grown up with in entrepreneurship, in business over the last decade, I want to say, especially. And it's really cool to have this business bestie by your side who you've navigated all these different shifts and changes alongside. And so, of course, Sarah, I had to have you on the podcast. I'm so happy you're here.

SPEAKER_01 2:52

I just had goosebumps when you were saying that because it actually is so special. It's wild. It feels like it's been five minutes, but the amount that we have grown and done since we met, like you said almost a decade ago, it's insane.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

Right? It's wild. And we're gonna get right into it. And I wanted to start actually because I know that you've shared this, and this is a big part of the work that you do in your coaching. But tell me about a time in your life in your business where you really hit that ceiling and you felt stuck in a certain spot and just like didn't know how to expand to the next level or couldn't find yourself getting there. And how did that feel for you?

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Yeah, this is such an important question because when I first started my business, I felt like everything was so easy. I'm like, oh, okay, great. Like this just works. And you just do this and it equals this. And it felt like this easy math equation. And when I first started building my business, I had, I was postpartum, I was on mat leave. So my capacity was really small, but still with the time I had, I knew if I pulled these levers, this would happen. And I very quickly was able to scale to the six-figure mark. After the kids went to daycare and I started having more time and wanted to pull more levers. I'm like, okay, great. Now I can do more. Now I can try this strategy and try this strategy. And I'm hiring this coach to learn their strategy and taking this course, and I'm doing everything. I'm doing all of the things. And I found that it wasn't working the same way. It I was still getting this, the results that I was getting previously, but it was one of those moments where I'm like, wait a second, the juice doesn't feel worth the squeeze because I was basically getting these results before when I was working half the time. Why would I put all this effort? And why are these people saying that they're making millions, but I'm stuck at the 10K a month mark? And that's when I had to start to look at the unspoken pieces of the puzzle, which was me. And in doing that, is when I started to really uncover, oh wow. That six figures was so easy for me because I already made six figures before I started my business. I looked around and pretty much everyone, my husband was making over six figures, my peers were making six figures at their corporate jobs. So six figures just felt easy. Great. I can identify with that. Yeah, it was normal. But what I recognize now is there was so much that was stopping me because I didn't have any, I didn't identify with someone who made way more than other people. I didn't realize how much it actually impacts your nervous system and the shifts that need to happen for you to make that your normal. And the reason that the 100K was normal, yes, because I was pulling all the levers and doing all the things, but it was because I just expected it. And so that's when I really started diving into okay, this isn't just a strategy game. I have to be looking inwards. And then I just became obsessed because I realized how much can unlock when you actually do that work. And once I started doing that work, I very quickly forexed the business not working more, like being able to not have to just grind all the time.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Yeah. Uh, so relatable for so many. So thank you so much for sharing that. And can you just walk us through some of the steps that you took and like really what was that identity shift that you felt, or what was kind of the big block that was stopping you from hitting that next level?

SPEAKER_01 6:51

Yeah. Well, I started doing learning more about the energetic piece, the masculine and feminine energy. And then I started doing some inner child healing. But I think that the major block that I was experiencing was a conflicting desire. And so I had this desire to make a lot of money without working really hard, without doing a lot. This was in back in 2015, I became obsessed with passive income. So it was this idea of, oh my gosh, I can just chill and be making money. That felt so good to me. But I also had this belief, so conflicting desires, beliefs, I had this belief that I had to work hard and I had to work harder than most people because that was a narrative growing up where I always felt like I had to work harder than my sister to get average marks. I had to work harder than everyone to make the teams. So I had this core belief about myself that I have to work hard in order to create results. Yet I wanted to create something which basically feels like no effort at all. Passive income, right? Of course, you're putting the effort in up front, but then is your nervous system going to allow the results to actually come in if you feel like you're not worthy of the sale unless you've put in the work? And so these conflicting beliefs, conflicting desires of like, okay, the desire being like, okay, I want to work hard because I know that gets me success. And it's like, oh, I don't want to work hard. I want to just be able to be chill and make money. And so when I realized that that wasn't correlating, I couldn't have both of those things. I couldn't still have this belief and still have the passive income. And so I had to start being like, let me sit in the discomfort of making money without working hard.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

Mm-hmm. And can you describe, because you do this so well, and I want to get into the nervous system work as well, but just like how that discomfort felt in your body. And I love how you describe just like feeling the feelings and letting yourself sit in that. And it's so important in expanding our capacity, right? Because of course, our immediate response is to get through the fear, fix it, move on. We don't want to feel it. We don't want to sit in it. So can you just kind of talk through that a little bit, like your own approach to doing that and how you also, you know, I part of what I'm so excited to have you and share your expertise, is like to share how you would coach yourself through that moment, through that shift.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Yeah, absolutely. I love to use money as an example for this because a lot of people don't realize how uncomfortable it is to hold a lot of money. And I want you to, everyone listening, if you think about the threshold that you have for debt or for savings, you know, Carly and I, you and I talked a little bit about like what's the what's the amount in your business bank account that you don't like it to go below? And we talked about that. And everyone has that in their business, in their personal. And the same goes for debt. How much can you have on your credit card before you start to be like, oh my gosh, this is so dysregulating? We we all have that number where once it passes that number, we're like, whoa, whoa, wait, what's going on? What's going on? Whereas it when it hasn't hit that, we're just flowing. We're we're not thinking much about it. And so that's because money is energy. And so if you it's like these different thresholds, when you start to push the bottom, we we we understand hitting the bottom with money of like, oh no, the accounts dropped below X amount, I feel dysregulated. What people don't realize is the upper limits, the upper limits of, oh my gosh, I've never seen my bank account with so much money, I've never seen my investment accounts growing this much. That's actually really dysregulating as well. And so when I realized that this feeling of having a lot of money, what was actually happening to me, that saying money burning a hole in your pocket, I never really understood it before, but I'm like, oh, I would receive large amounts of money and I would push that edge of what I was used to having and holding. And I would start sending my husband large chunks of money. We have a joint account, we both have our own businesses, we have business accounts, we each have personal accounts. So we have, we we put a bunch of money in our joint account every single month. We contribute for all the expenses, and then we each have our own, which we can, you know, invest all the things. And I would just be sending him money that he didn't need and he didn't want. And he's like, Why are why did you just send me $3,000? And I'm like, Well, just you know, in case you needed it for anything. And he's like, What are you doing? Like, and I started realizing, oh my gosh, I'm so uncomfortable holding this amount of money that I'm like, who can I give this to? How can I get rid of this? And in growing up, I can look back, I'm like, oh, I used to spend all my money. It's like, and you can even look, uh we can look back at ourselves, but even my kids, I can see my kids operating a little bit differently. One of them wants to save everything, the other one's like immediately wants to spend it. And it's so interesting. And so I started being like, can I sit in the discomfort of holding this amount of money? And so the question that you asked me around how did you do that? It's literally just that. And so what I would do is I I remember this one day I got, I had my highest cash day. I made $27,000 in into my bank account. Like it's not just sales. That my bank account went from X amount to plus $27,000. And I remember celebrating and then being like crazing. Like, wait, well, what do I do with this? And what does this mean? And da-da-da. And so I had to sit with the sensations that were coming up in my body. Nervous system work is body work. We are really trained in the mind. We're very much aware of our thoughts. And so in the past, I would I was operating on a mind level. Let me just think my way out of this. Okay, you know, I'm safe, it's fine. Uh, I have to invest in this, and I'll send my husband this amount. And I'm trying to figure it out in my head. As the money started to flow in bigger amounts, I had to just stop and be like, okay, it is safe to hold this much money. And the same can go for love, for joy, for visibility. It is safe to hold this amount of visibility. It is safe to hold this amount of judgment, of being misunderstood. All of it is dysregulating when we start to push edges, both the upper edges and the lower edges. And so when we start to notice that, instead of going into fight or flight, which is fix mode, okay, I've I have so much visibility, so many eyeballs. If anyone's ever gone viral, you know what this feels like. The next post after you go viral, the hardest post you ever make because you're like, what do I say? What do I do? Same on the bottom level of like, okay, shoot, nobody's seeing my stuff. What do I say? What do I do? You get into this fight or flight of okay, I need to fix it, I need to fix it. But in reality, all you have to do is regulate around it, of like, okay, I am safe. And so what I do is I drop into my body and like, okay, this feels, and I just notice a sensation. So I feel a pit in my stomach. I feel a weight on my chest, a lump in my throat, tingling in my arms and legs, whatever it might be. Those are different sensations that are very common. And I just sit with it without my head, my brain telling me all these stories. You have to disconnect from the brain because the brain is going to want to keep those sensations alive because the brain thinks that those sensations are keeping you safe. It's like, no, we have to move, we have to go, we have to, whereas you can just be like, no, no, no, we're safe. It's okay to be seen. It's okay to be in overflow. It's okay to be judged. And when you actually just feel that versus trying to run away from it and avoid it and fix it, then you remove it and suddenly you've expanded your capacity to hold more money, to hold more visibility, to hold more failure, to hold more joy, all of it. And each of those things is going to create a different sensation in your body. So it's constantly just expanding, expanding your capacity so that that becomes your new normal.

SPEAKER_00 15:09

Yes. So good. Thank you for that. So well articulated. I'm really curious because I, as you know, I work with my husband in the business. And I know you and JP are both entrepreneurs but have separate businesses, and you're mentioning like your own bank accounts and your own ways of investing. But I'm so curious about your own process when it comes to manifesting together and also kind of managing both of your money blocks as well and working with your partner to do that. Because I think, again, with every level of growth, it opens up new challenges, new blocks. And I'm curious if you can share just kind of like how you and AP navigate that. And like, do you find yourself coaching him?

SPEAKER_01 15:52

It's actually really interesting because for a long time I wasn't really open to coaching him because you're so close to them. I found it hard to coach him. I wasn't as patient with him as I would be with my clients. I'd be like, come on, figure it out. Like, I don't know what it was. Um, but with the manifestation thing, it's really interesting because I always said that I manifest through him. And so I would be doing all of this energetic work. And sometimes it wouldn't manifest in my business, and he will roll his eyes at this because it's hilarious. It's kind of like, have you seen those reels where the the woman's like, I'm manifesting and she's dancing in the background and the husband's like on his computer, like frantically working, and it's like manifesting my dream life. And it's just that hilarious juxtaposition of how each person does it. But we know that there is relevance in that. I'm not saying that he's not doing anything at all, but sometimes I would be doing all the money minds are and and manifesting all of this, and he'd be like, Oh, by the way, I just all this stuff happening. And I'm like, what? And of course I'm celebrating, but I'm like, I must be manifesting through you. And he would always laugh. But he did he would also say, keep doing what you're doing, keep doing it, right? Um, and so over the years, as he has seen the shifts and the work work, he gets more interested. It's like anything. I don't want to have to try and sell something or explain it. Just watch, and that's enough. Just see me be embodied and see me create the embodied results, and people will lean into that. And so he's always been very spiritual, actually. Um, even before I started doing this work, we would go to psychics together and talk all things, you know, soul, um, soulful. And so luckily he's really open to all of that. But when it comes to manifesting together, we we just he understands my language, which I think is really powerful. And I definitely help him expand his mindset because he can be way more logical than I am, where I'm an Enneagram seven and I'm a manifesting generator. He's a generator in an Enneagram nine. And so he has a little bit more of a different approach to things. The other day, for example, and I don't know if I told you this story when we were in person, but a couple, it was back in February, end of February, and it was such a long cold winter here. And I just said to him, I'm like, next year, I want to spend three weeks somewhere. We need to get away for a good chunk of the winter. And he's like, Well, let's be realistic. Like, I don't think I can get away from work for that long. And I looked at him and I said, Don't ever tell me to be realistic. And he's like, and then he's backputing because he knows he's it's kind of like telling someone to calm down. It's like, no, no, no, you're not gonna go telling me what's realistic. And I'm like, We have almost a year. And so it was in that moment he felt a conditioning of, oh gosh, you know, based on the last year, I don't know if I can get away for that. And I'm like, that's why we start planning it now. And within 10 minutes of us having a conversation and me explaining, like, this is when we start manifesting. You start taking action. He's like, You're right. He had the next day, he had a picture of the beach on his background of his computer because he's like, that's gonna like the visual. He's like, Okay, he literally since then has hired someone. They're about to put in an offer. Like he has a bunch of people on his team already, but he's like, I have a bunch of people I need to hire. I'm like, well, what are you waiting for? Let's go. And so I help push him and he helps ground me. It's a really good energy, but I do love being able to manifest together because your energy is so much more potent. How about you and Luke? Do you guys have a process?

SPEAKER_00 19:37

I uh yeah, I love that you shared that and can totally relate to it and a similar dynamic. I funny enough, as you're saying, kind of that you push him and he grounds you. That's that's like our typical. But lately I feel like Luke has actually been pushing me in different ways. And I'm having to navigate, you know, my Manny Jen energy of like, okay, but does this like truly light me up? And because he can be very strategic with his vision, and I'm a little bit more, you know, I it has to feel like so exciting to me. And so yeah, navigating that. And I think too, we we kind of are coming out of a point where we kind of had different visions for the business for a little bit. Like it was a strange time for us because for a while when we were growing, it was always like me in that CEO role. And, you know, still knowing our lanes and our roles. But of course, we like to dream big and plan together. But there came a point where we were just like butting heads. We were not on the same page about what our next path was for growth. And then this year, finally, like when we did our vision planning for 2026, I went into it honestly feeling tense. And like I we were like talking through it. We're like, okay, like this, we're on the same page here. This is gonna be, you know, all positive. We all are the best for ourselves and the business, like coaching each other through it. And we had like finally a breakthrough kind of meeting where I'm like, okay, we're back on the same page again. So I think that's natural though. For a while I was like, are we, is this a sign that we're not supposed to be doing this together anymore? Like, are we it, are we growing in different ways from the business perspective? But I think it's just natural, and I love to get into this next. Like, we've been in business for 11 years, 10 years of those together. Of course, there's gonna be some years, not just weeks or months, but literally years where we feel a little bit disconnected and have to kind of navigate that time. And so I'd love to pivot and share a little bit about like your own growth over, you know, being in business for a decade or entrepreneurship for a decade. And you've had so many incredible pivots. And like I always say how like you're such an embodied manifesting generator, and I love that about you, and you move so fast and you take action. And I know you've shared a lot about how a key to those pivots for you in business has been the personal brand that you. have built and bringing your community along and how they've grown and evolved with you. Can you speak to that a little bit and just, you know, what that's looked like in your trajectory and and how you vision cast for the future too, when you do know that you change quickly and things and I mean the environment changes so quickly too.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Yeah, you know, I love this question because it's such a good thing for me to reflect on as well. I am a manifesting generator and in an Enneagram 7, like I mentioned. And so my nature is to kind of chase the next shiny object a little bit. And so it's a blessing and a curse with most most things. And so through my business it's been such a wonderful outlet for me to be able to share my heart and soul and my evolution that not only serves people at different stages, the same way it serves me at different stages, people gives people the opportunity to grow with me. But it also has been so beautiful to be able to see that people understand if it makes sense to you and your soul, it makes sense to your audience. This is a really big thing that people struggle with is like, oh, if I'm talking about too many different things and like I people won't understand. And I'm like, do people get confused when they meet you in public and you like this and you like that and you talked about this and you talked about that, do they get confused? And they're like no and I'm like exactly so does this mean that just talk about whatever you want all day, every day in your personal brand? No. You want to make sure you're intentional about the things that you bring forward but knowing that your audience is very smart and intuitive and they get it and you can talk about parenting and you can talk about growing a business and you can talk about podcasting and you can talk about going to events and you can talk about all these different things because it's all you and that's the beauty of a personal brand. People want that multi-dimensional space where they can feel seen in different ways. And some things hit with some people and other things hit with other people. And I just love that about a personal brand. So for me, it has just been almost like this experiment over the last 10 years of showing up and every big iteration in my business or at least for the first few years, it was always initiated by a request from someone else. So when I first launched my photography my photography business was my first business that ever made money. I had tried to start businesses before that, but it was the first time I ever made money and I didn't mean to I started posting photos because I was taking a photography course just for fun. And then someone said how much would it be for you to do family photos and I'm like I don't know 50 bucks and she's like okay and so I put together a website where it was like $50 for a session and it was this one page website that just had a contact me form but I was like it's official I have a photography business and I just from that launch the photography business within a year I'm booked out then mom's being like oh I I wish I knew how to use my good camera okay great I've been wanting to make a course I'm gonna make a course on that scaled launched amazing done business owners seeing that saying hey can you you just launched a course and then were able to quit your corporate job how did you do that oh here yeah I can mentor you in that here's a package and everything just evolved so naturally and I just kind of answered the next call which I think is so important for us as business owners to understand is like we don't have to what we're doing right now isn't going to be where we are in 10 years. But we just have to be willing to answer the next call and be willing to show up and share the work that we're doing it. And that's what has opened doors me sharing oh I launched a course I did this oh I'm you know I'm I'm working on my personal development oh I'm working on my energetics oh I'm working on this oh can you help me can you help me can you help me and so that's always just been so natural and so beautiful. Now where I am in my career a decade later and everything that I've learned and the way the where I see the next 10 years, I don't necessarily want it to be like that. I I'm ready to create some stability and build something longer term. And so the last couple years I've have felt like I've been in this in-between and so we're stepping into the new with the new brand and the new um community because I'm really clear now on what the industry needs and I am ready to fully commit to one and it's not just one thing. Of course there's many things within the brand but that feels really good in this next era.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

As you're saying this, I'm like thinking about how you know as part of your human design right as a manny gen, it's to respond, right? Is that our Yes exactly so you're you know getting this invitation you're responding but of course like you've manifested this and you're calling it in and so it's aligned. It's not that people are asking you for these things that like you have no interest and doesn't light you up. There has to be that alignment especially as a Manny Jen that you have to get fired up about it and feel like oh my God of course I can do that. Of course this is the next step. And that that was leading a lot of your growth but then I'm like immediately thinking of your South node north node which we were talking about last time we were hanging out because your south node is Libra, right? Do you remember Libra South node, Aries North node is that right? Or am I thinking of loose?

SPEAKER_01 27:34

I know that it was an Aries North node.

SPEAKER_00 27:36

Yeah so Aries North node is in the Libra rising. Okay okay yeah I have to look up your south node again because for the Aries north node right that is that energy of like really stepping into doing it for you and making those moves for you and that trailblazer energy of like it doesn't matter if if no one else like understands it right away or sees it like you know and you're trusting that it's the right move for you. So yeah and and it makes me think about like even with the dynamic I was saying with Luke like that's something we had to just really navigate because sometimes what he would kind of suggest as like our next way of growing didn't resonate with me. And I'm like, but I don't want to do that. That doesn't excite me. So like and I am an Aries sunset. So I'm like I will not do something that I don't want to do. And I find it so fascinating and and that's why like I love astrology and human design and knowing your partners and knowing you know your kids and your teams because it really does bring so much clarity and validation to these big decisions and and how you navigate them. Yeah. And what's Luke's human design? He is Scorpio's son. He's got Saj in there I think he's Saj Rising and Libra moon. So like he's got kind of a generator he's a Manny Jen also Manny Gen as well. Okay yeah yeah so we do like move quickly together but the like it's when we're in sync and moving quickly in the same direction isn't the key right in the business itself. And you know I'm also just very open-minded and and like we never expected to be in business together let alone in business together for 10 years and I don't know what the next 10 years that's what's so exciting. I don't know what it's going to look like. And and so it's just like we continue to just find ways to continue to grow individually and together and and just like trust and where that's gonna lead.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

I love it. It's so it's so special and also the amount of challenges because marriage is one thing marriage with and raising kids is another dynamic. Marriage raising kids and building a business together like you guys are the trifecta of pushing edges individually but especially as a partnership. And so my husband and I we do this but separately and so the challenges he's having at work you know he was having a rough day at work yesterday dealing with something and I I'm in my own little world I'm having a great day so I'm able to just be clear headed but when you both are experiencing the same highs and lows I can only imagine how much resources it takes to like not allow it to affect your day-to-day life.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Totally and actually I was having this conversation with Christina who's uh also guesting on the podcast and she was saying how in her partnership with Maria at High Five Women and Social Snippet how you know they had that they have this dynamic where like is if one of them's down the other one's job is to pick that person up. And for the beginning like building stages for sure that was Luke and me like we had that dynamic and it was so powerful. But honestly like put kids in the picture especially at a certain age and just all the other things that we're navigating today like there's been some heavy stuff that we've had to navigate what that you navigate with your partner, let alone your business partner and your the parents of your kids, you know so carrying all of that of course there's going to be times where it's gonna feel like we're both on the down and how do we how do we pick ourselves up? So that's that's been part of the growth too and part of the capacity stretch. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 31:14

Yeah no it's it's so cool to see and also just knowing how little we all do see of what actually happens behind the scenes.

SPEAKER_00 31:23

And I love to kind of bring in motherhood to this because you know our kids are very similar age and you have Jude's your oldest and the and your daughter's your youngest. So just the swap on on kind of the gender dynamic. But tell me just a little bit about that identity shift that and and how it's kind of changed in this latest season for you of motherhood and business. Like what is it feeling like right now? And I'm so curious to ask like how do you feel like you're showing up as your favorite self in your business and in your motherhood and in your marriage right now. Can you share a little bit on that?

SPEAKER_01 31:58

Yeah. Yeah this the most I would say the most recent identity shift is happening with this shift in growing the business into its next evolution. And I shared this story at my event that you were at in December and I've shared it a couple other places but I think that it's so relevant because so much of growing business is around identity work. And like we've talked about but last November I was in the Dominican with my family and I woke up and I call it an intrusive thought because you know you wake up and you just have like I was like what would it take to build a 10 a sellable $10 million company in five years like it just I don't know where this came from my nobody in my the room was awake I was just all of a sudden talking to ChatGBT about what this would look like and I'm reading through what the next five years would look like in order to do this. The number one thing that went through my head was the person who would do that is not the person laying in this bed right now. The shifts that would need to happen in her routine and how she works out and shows up and what she eats and everything you would need to be optimized for that peak performance in order to do something that stretchy. And in that moment that was the message that I was meant to receive. It wasn't about building that business it was about why are you playing so small? Why are you yes you're pushing you're doing things that most people around you aren't doing but you're still only using a fraction of your potential and only really showing up in such a small way and so I was like I'm showing up as a business owner not a CEO of a massive high impact community movement. Like why am I playing the same game that I've been playing for the last few years like something needs to shift. That was the message that I needed and so really just stepping into seeing myself differently first. First I have to see myself of like okay how what does she look like how does she operate and identity shifts for me I I always say for everyone they happen in the little micro moments. And so this doesn't mean that I was like you know what we're moving across the world and we're doing this. It's like how are you showing up to conversations? What are you putting on your body after you have a shower in the morning? How are you you know what are you watching? What are you doing after the kids go to bed? All these little things that's where the shifts happen that's that's where that's what where the most important moments are is those tiny little things even of like oh I'm gonna go I'm I'm gonna go um like you react to things whether it's somebody texts you and you're like oh and you're gonna react no I'm actually gonna show up differently in that so that's been the biggest identity shift of seeing myself as the leader of something bigger and my favorite self. So what was the specific question?

SPEAKER_00 35:04

Yeah really as you're embodying that into me like stepping into that favorite self energy and embodying that next level what does that look like can you share kind of some of the shifts in your routine that you've embraced or in your role in the business like what are some of the changes that you've made okay yeah so I think my favorite self, there's a couple things.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

I love to have fun. So making sure that there's an element of fun in my day and honestly things like this that checks the bucket of fun is like am I connecting with someone that I love? Am I doing something that lights me up that feels fun whether it's going to Pilates or recording a podcast episode or going for a walk with a friend, incorporating fun. I know that that's what really lights me up and it can be the first thing to go off of our to-do list, right? And then the other piece is pushing myself being willing to move without the validation doing things that do not make sense launching an event being like I want 180 people at this event in two months like it things that I'm gonna go book a golf course I'm gonna go do these things that are really stretchy and that I've never done before because the version of me that I is my favorite self is the one who's doing things and normalizing things that she's never done before.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

Oh so good.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

I love that perspective and what comes to mind can you share a way that you have or a moment maybe that you've had where you've just kind of clicked and reflected and been like oh I I am her I've become her I am doing what I wanted to do with stand the real a few years ago I I remember I had this visualization that I would walk through of my my favorite day like my perfect day in the life and it was waking up with my family getting them ready for school walking them to school going to Pilates or at that time I think it was yoga but going to yoga grabbing a Starbucks coming home diving into client work some days I'd be driving home from a speaking event where my family would greet me like thing things like that. That was the energy behind that favorite self and almost like almost every day I get to be like I'm doing that. And I remember I had that back in the fall I was like I really got into Pilates in the fall and being like oh this was what I was dreaming of a couple years ago of the space in my calendar that I can I don't have to take an income drop to be able to incorporate a workout into my day every day even though the days don't feel long enough sometimes but like that's important to me. And so definitely feeling that and which is the perfect time as well to be like okay we're we're here what's the next evolution of that yeah yeah so good.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

And it's so important to take that time to reflect and recognize that growth right and then use those receipts knowing like okay if I went from here to here you know imagine what the next two years, five years will bring. One practice that I've been really mindful of too is um paying attention to how and where I have my coffee because for me like my coffee is a ritual that I have every day, you know, sometimes multiple times a day. And so especially I mean we're coming out of this Canadian winter that feels like it's dragged on so long and I can't wait to have my morning coffee on the front porch while my kids are riding their bikes up and down the sidewalk and I'm just sitting there and enjoying and being present. Or I, you know, like when I'm on vacation and I just get to enjoy my coffee and look out at the view or I I just feel like there if you can kind of pick something that's a ritual for you too in your day to day that feels glamorous also like it feels like a luxury even though it's something that you experience every day there's something so powerful about that.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

It's like the romanticizing your life because it's so true. These little things that you already do but what if you just became so present and so grateful and allowed this normal thing that you just do every day to become something so powerful.

SPEAKER_00 39:25

Yes. Yeah like the Starbucks coffee on the way back from dropping off the kids, right? Like it gets to be that simple but also amazing and powerful. And that's my Scorpio moon talking to like the ritual of it like I've really leaned into that knowing that part about me and how much I love the rituals. So I even think of what you were saying about you know thinking of those patterns and routines and like how you spend your evenings and like I know when I get into a slump of like too much Netflix at night, you know, and I'm like I the last thing I feel like doing right now sitting on the couch and watching another show. And when I get to have these nights to myself that I'm like really in my journaling practice and I'm doing a sauna and I mean a cold plunge as a bonus or like my red light mask and and just like pulling a tarot card and you know putting my crystals out for the full moon whatever that looks like that's when I also feel tapped into my favorite self as well. And I mean there's also a time and a place for the Netflix binge and don't get me wrong but I'm curious like what does your ideal night look like especially like your weeknight because I think that's one thing too in the stage we're in in parenting where you know we still our kids go to bed at a certain time and like it's a whole it's a whole ordeal to get out to get like a babysitter or someone to come watch the kids so they can go out for that date night. So what does kind of like your typical evening ritual look like we talk we talk so much about morning but I'm so curious about your evening.

SPEAKER_01 40:54

Yeah you're so bright. I feel like evening is just as important and for me a big so the kids are gonna going to bed later and later now as they get older too. So for example last night both the kids we put them to bed at 8 30 but it was 9 p.m and my husband and I always sit in on our bed and chat until we know the kids are asleep and then we'll kind of like go do what we need to do. But it's not irregular for them to come out of their room. So we kind of wait. In the past whenever they came out this is a side note whenever they came out I would be so triggered and this is one of the big things that I had to work through was because that time felt so sacred of like this is my time. And so when they came out it was it was so dysregulating because I'm like I need you to go to bed because I'm desperate for like a couple hours where I don't need to tend to anyone whereas last night they come out and Penelope's in the bed first and then we hear Jude come out and I'm like excited. I'm like yeah come get in like we're all in our bed and we we get to sit and chat for 10 minutes before we're like okay. Whereas in the past like I wouldn't have capacity. I'd be like everyone needs to go to bed. And so it's so nice to have a more regulated state that I can actually enjoy these moments and they end up going so much better because it's much better to just give them a little love for 10 minutes, tuck them back in and then they're happy and then they go down so much better. That's a side note. In terms of my evenings I am I've never been a huge TV person. And so my husband is and his sister is actually in the show Vladimir just came out on Netflix shameless plug for my sister-in-law's show. She's uh Louise Lambert so check her out she's in there uh it's a great show and there's only 10 episodes and he's like we're seeing the family on Saturday we need to finish this show because it's taking us so long because I don't go down in the evenings and then a lot of times on even on the weekends I'm tired and I want to go to bed and I can only watch one or two episodes. So in the evenings I love having my evening bath especially in the winters in the summers I do more of a shower but cleansing myself and and just it gets me into that relaxed state. Sometimes I'll actually do this before the kids even go to bed and so we're all kind of getting ready for bed together and I'm having my bath and usually like my husband keeps the kids out of the way so I can actually have a relaxing bath. But having that bath is just like that signal for my nervous system of like okay my favorite um affirmation like you've done enough you are enough you're open to receive and it's just like whatever that receive looks like it's like receive the most beautiful night's sleep receive you know the a new client receive a gift receive love receive whatever it might be and it just sets my nervous system and everything that comes after that it's like when you're in your flow state sometimes the flow state does say okay let's go watch a show and but other times to be honest my nighttime routine is have a bath put the kids to bed and then my husband and I will lie in bed and we have pillow talk for like an hour and then he's like okay I'm gonna go downstairs and watch a show before I come back up and he like tucks me in and I go to bed early. Like it's it's very simple but it is the regulation it's the connection with the person most important Important to me, and then a good night's sleep.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

I'm so glad that you share, like I asked you that randomly and that you shared that. It also reminded me, and I hope this is, you know, this is what's I love about connecting with other moms who are in different seasons ahead of me. Because if you're in a season right now where you can't possibly imagine having a bath while your kids are still awake and actually enjoying it, it absolutely is possible. It will happen. I remember even just like when I started meditating with the kids around. Because before I would just like wait and it would be the last thing at the end of my day, I finally have time to meditate and I would just fall asleep because I was just exhausted and so really in survival mode. And so then when I started meditating and going in my little portable sauna, while the kids are running around, I'm like, it's not perfect. I can hear them through my noise-canceling headphones, but I'm still doing it. It's still something. They're seeing me take that time. And even if they're coming and poking with my eye mask, like poking my face sometimes, you know, it still gave me back something and helped me draw that boundary with them and show them like this is time for mommy too. And, you know, then I'll come play with you afterwards. So I love that you shared that and also the different seasons of bedtime because uh we were at the cottage recently with um the kids' cousins, and they had a night, the first night, where they did their bedtime routine together and kind of like tucked each other in. They, the older girls um read books to my youngest and tucked him in and then did their own thing. And like, you know, I think they were just like chatting for a while because they were all sharing a room and eventually fell asleep and the adults are just upstairs like playing games and we're just like, wow, we've unlocked a new season of parenthood. Like, and you know, part of that comes with grief of like, oh my God, I you know, the bedtime routine. But it was also just really cool to see them step into that evolution and just like know that you're gonna continue to have different capacity to enjoy time together in different ways. And like even if your evenings maybe aren't all yours like they were when you had uh a stricter bedtime routine if you did, that it still gets to just open up other really beautiful opportunities for connection. So I love that song.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

I love that. And it's so true because when you're in the trenches, hearings, certain things can be triggering, but it really every season really is a season when it comes to parenthood. And I as you get a little bit further into parenthood, like we both have five. Well, is Fletcher five yet? Five and seven, almost really, yeah. Yeah. And so it's it is this new season. And with every new season, it you do get to have a bit of an identity shift within yourself of like, oh, I actually have capacity for a little bit more in the evenings. But to be honest, my weekends are more taken up because of all the activities and all the birthday parties. And so it's it just it just shifts and changes. Um and and it's all of it's beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

Yeah. And I love seeing you share, you know, like I'm like excited to step into this next evolution of like the sports mom era too, you know, as we're getting into some rep soccer and gonna be spending a lot of time there and and just knowing that it's just like opportunities for new, different connections and memories and like meeting new parent friends too, is and you know, having maybe my social life is actually gonna get a little bit more exciting. I feel like my social life now is like so business focused, which is amazing. And I've uh like love that, but it's gonna, you know, open up new doors kind of with the kids.

SPEAKER_01 47:36

And I also just love what you mentioned about how you're modeling for your kids, the self-care and the doing the work on yourself, because that's so important. And when you mention the sports and the rep sports, that's in something that I've noticed is so expansive and it opens up a lot of expansive conversations with your kids because when they're trying out for teams, when they're learning new things, it's so expansive for them and it's hard. And every all of this work that we do on ourselves to become our favorite selves, like that's what we want our kids to be able to always. We don't want them to have to come back to it. We want them to just always look at themselves as their favorite selves. And so curious for you, like, is there anything since doing this work like that you intentionally do with your kids to help them cultivate and like rem stay in their favorite self?

SPEAKER_00 48:39

Uh yeah. Yeah. One one thing I've really loved doing lately is at the end of the night, you know, while we're having our bedtime talk, because like that's the best time when they get so chatty and they tell you all about their day. And I love to just pause and ask them, what were you most proud of yourself for today? I remember seeing that prompt somewhere and just like the conversations that have come. And like when I started asking that, Fletcher was four, and he the like he would tell me, and then he would be like, What are you most proud of yourself for, mom? And I'm like, just the fact that he would think to reciprocate and ask me black and just like, you know, they're I always say like they're such powerful little mirrors, the way that they're able to show you in the language they use and their mannerisms and their everyday, the things that you do so naturally that like you don't even have to think about. And that's the power of those patterns that you're talking about, right? And and the fact that they're soaking those up. And the other morning, um, Fletcher came downstairs and was just like in his element talking to himself, and he's just like, I'm so handsome. And I'm, you know, it's just like, oh, I I love it. I love watching and how they open up new doors of growth for us. It's really when I think about the version of myself that didn't possibly know how I could hold, you know, this really expansive, ambitious business life and the motherhood that I wanted to show up for. And now just looking at how much they've complimented each other and you know, how much I've grown in the process of both, and how like my work in the business has made me such a better mom, and my work in motherhood has made me so such a better leader in my business. Like, ugh, I just hope that more and more women can see that and feel that and expand into that as well. And I'm so glad I had you in that early in those early days. Like you were one of those people that I look to and you were an expander for me in that and knowing like if she can do this, I can do it too.

SPEAKER_01 50:35

Yeah, and vice versa. It's like you need your tribe as a mom and as an entrepreneur, and to find the tribe who are both is like priceless. So oh my gosh, I love you so much.

SPEAKER_00 50:48

I love you and I so appreciate you, and I feel like this is a beautiful way to end. And I have a little bit of not so rapid fire to end things on here. So the first question I wanted to ask you is like if you were to summarize kind of your most recent or most epic transformation of like the from blank to blank, what would that be for you?

SPEAKER_01 51:09

I would say from from, I don't want to say uncommitted, but like from kind of chaotic and unfocused to committed. And yeah, and I won't go too much into a story, but uh back in the fall, I started doing Pilates and I was like, this is not gonna be just another thing that I do for a couple months and then fall off of it. So I purchased a year of membership. I went all in, and that's the mindset that I've been taking into everything is like we are building for the long term now, and that has felt really good.

SPEAKER_00 51:46

Ah, yes, I love that example too. That's so aligned with this next level identity. Okay, fill in the blank.

SPEAKER_01 51:53

Expansion feels like expansion feels like for me, it feels like silk. I always say, like that's how I want my nervous system to feel. And I crave that expansion. And so when I know, even though sometimes it can feel maybe it might feel like sandpaper, but it's like we're gonna, we're gonna work this sandpaper until it becomes silk. It's like this, that's like, oh, okay, yes, we're expanding and it feels it feels so good.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

Such a good analogy. I love that. I'm gonna keep picturing that.

SPEAKER_01 52:34

The biggest lie about success is the biggest lie about success is that you have to work really, really hard to create success. And I think that that's what's stopping so many women from actually creating success is that belief because they they don't they realize they don't want to have to work really, really hard. And it's gonna take hard, it's gonna take work, it's gonna take hard work, but it doesn't take burning out.

SPEAKER_00 53:00

Yes. I need that message constantly.

SPEAKER_01 53:04

And last one, your favorite self is someone who my favorite self is someone who is present in every moment.

SPEAKER_00 53:13

Yes. So good, Sarah. I and we could talk forever. Like there could easily be a part two to this, but let us let everyone listening know where do they find you? What do you have coming up? Um, yeah, how can they just get connected with you?

SPEAKER_01 53:28

Yeah, I love to hang out on Instagram. It's the Sarah Lambert on Instagram. Um, and there are free I have a free reality shift challenge, which is really great. Uh, that's a big good one for identity work. And there's an event coming up, an in-person event coming up in June. So if you want to meet in person, that would be super fun to have anyone in your community there. Um, but otherwise, yeah, like let me know if you've listened to the podcast and we'd love to connect.

SPEAKER_00 53:56

Yay, and we'll drop all those links in the show notes as well. So thank you, thank you. This, oh, this felt so good. I'm just so happy to have you here and just to continue to be able to grow on this incredible journey with you. And thank you for just showing up so honestly and vulnerably and and just sharing your wisdom with all of us.

SPEAKER_01 54:15

Oh my gosh, such a pleasure. I'm so excited that you finally have this podcast. I know I'm not the only one. So it's an honor to be part of it. I love you so much.

SPEAKER_00 54:22

Yay. Thanks everyone for listening. We'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to the Favorite Self podcast. If this episode stirred something in you, there's a reason for it. You could take a moment to share with a friend, someone who's also building something brave, that would mean so much to me. Better yet, leave a review. It helps this message reach even more women who are ready to lead differently. And before you go, remember this your favorite self is already within you, waiting to be heard. See you next time.